hmm.toked to melvin and jasmine..proper told mel alot of tings..felt abit down..hmm.lovell said somethin today..he say he really bored cos everyday he stay home den lyk nv achieve anythin..he was all agitated and everythin bout stayin home.it kinda made me feel bad and started tinkin bout it.given his character,he wudnt stand stayin at home to face his com other den gamin and slpin..i feel bad..wad i dint wan in e beginnin of tis relationship happened..i dont wanna lock him down.which obviously i did..im sorrie.his been home just facin laptop for almost a month already..sorrie.i dint mean to de.i really do understand how he feels..just lyk how i feel..ive been so useless for e pass 10months.i haven done anythin too.just stay in my room.ive spoken to mel bout it.den he say i shud do somethin bout it..haha.i dunno leh.i feel lyk ive lost myself already..we toked bout e yl ting too.den bout lovell high-in.. 

mumy called when i was about to pom pom.toked to her for abit..den lovell called me on my fone.e moment he tok to me,i noe he high liao.hmm.i dunno how i feel at e moment.but down for sure.i mean he use to tell me if he was gonna be high..but tis few days,he kinda lyk hide it from me liao..ever since he say he wanna stop it den ask me help him,hes been tryin to hide it from me when he high..hmm.make me feel damn bad bout it..i mean,i rather he tell me he wanna or he is rather den hidin it from me..makes me feel lyk i dont allow him to do it..i really wan him to be happy and do wad he wanna do..i dont wan him to be hidin when he wanna do tings.tats just gonna be terrible to be controlled when he nv lyked to be controlled.