we tok for abit aft he gt his cigs den he went to bed liao..around 3..everthin was normal..

anw,so i went shower,den cooked pasta again..den watched kangxi while eatin..aft eatin wanted to revise.but really cant get anythin into my head...dunno y...haix..so started kistenin to songs on youtube and eventually,i fell aslp..i slpt so i cud tok to hun when he wakes up..finally he woke up at around 8ish..hes mom came in cos she goin to work liao..but lovell fell back aslp for abit den woke up again..

and e next ting i noe was he raised hes voice abit to ask me go to bed..hmm.tat makes my heart break once again=(so wad can i say?okie..nitex..den i put away e laptop den lie in bed liao lo..den started cryin..i dunno y i kept cryin over small tings lyk tat..haix..im not angry or anythin..just upset tat aft wad ive done tonite,slp earlier so i cud tok to him when we wake up..in e end,tats wad i got from him='(i hid under my blanket cryin and he kept sayin sorrie and stuffs,askin me not to be angry..i wasnt angry just upset..but i really cant turn to him and tok to him cos i was cryin..i dowan hin to noe tat im cryin='(

so many things started comin into my head while cryin..

first was CNY,big n small ob will be comin to london!!hmm.i cud've spend tym wif em from 1st feb.. but i really dowan to cos i wanna stay home to tok to lovell..although i noe he wudnt be home for chinese new yr,but im willin to stay in to wait for him..wait for him to come home from e bai nians and outins..i noe by e tym he gets home will be bed tym,but at least i get to tok to him still...

second was y did he raise his voice at me again?haix..i dunno wads gng on..haix..

third was,i really needed someone to tok to..so,i need my blog..so here i am typin tis..

den,i went to lock e door and found lovell aslp already..makes me tink if he really cared bout me or not..but,oh well...nvm..

hmm.wad if one day he sees tis blog and noe everythin?i dunno..i dont wan him to noe.i really dunno wad he'll say when he sees tis blog...