Monday, January 31, 2011 @6:16 PM
31jan2011
i feel aslp and den nv wake lovell up.opps!!anw,lovell went to out cut hair wif dad.now hes got red hair and short hair!haah!=)lyk korean gangster.haha!
den he went queuein for bak kwa=)loooonnnnggggg queue..so,pei him tok on my fone lo=)so happy today whole day tok to hiM!hehe.hmm.we tok bout sooo many things=)so happy!!!!!
den,mummy randomly called me on skype at wad tym?at here 730 am!!!imagine im already aslp!i'll be sooo pissed.den he say he forgot i still orh orhin!idiot!anw,she tell me she buyin iphone4 and all that...haha!=)i cant wait to use iphone4 sia!seriously!ahhh!!
okie..den pei hun skype while his dad go do tings.den is lyk secret btw us=)hun,owe me de ar....rmb hor!!!=)now,he is on his way home..now its 10am here and i haven slp yet!!!!dunno how to tahan tomolo lesson!grp project at 130..den 4-6 lecture!!wah!shag!can die liao sia!!!hmm.im tinkin tomolo just buy fried chicken eat for dinner sua!cant be fuckin bothered to cook anymore!!but eat out,i sure fat until siao one lo!!!!cannot!!must cook!!!=(
now,im waitin for hun to reach home..den pei him tok awhile den needa go eat den prepare go sch liao..sian!!!!!so dowan to go school lo..really..but last week nv,cannot!!so must guai guai!=)
okie.wait for hun come back den gonna go cook maggie eat.i now damn hungry!!!
jr precious moments at 6:16 PM
@6:22 AM
30jan2011
okie.today is our 10month!its been 10 months since i got out him lovell,tis 10months have passed soo quickly!but when i actually tink back,2months in worksop,2months in uni(xmas term) and now 3months in uni(easter term),its been soo slow wifout him!tym was not movin at all.it practically stopped!when im back for my holidays,tym just went tickin away..just lyk the forward button was bein pressed..in a blink,holiday was gone and ive gotta come back to uk alone..i had leavin him behind..im sorrie..
hmm.lovell read my blog and saw everythin tat ive written for e past week..ive only been bloggin for less den 2 weeks im sure.but ive got sooo many posts!!!anw,he read,and he started cryin.he felt bad for wad he've done and not done..e purpose of e blog was not to make him feel bad.but so tat i can have somewhere to empty all my feelings and troubles to..well,he read and felt tat he was a lousy bf.but for me,i love who he is.although tym to tyms he loses temper,e way where he care so much for me,i just love e way he is..he said he'll change,i dont wan him to change.i dont wanna change him.i love him..
today,woke up at 7 not feelin well,drank e whole bottle of water!felt beta and went to bed..lovell called me when he was gng out wif his dad.but i just rmb him tokin to me and i was just listenin and not replyin to him..haha!!=)i fell aslp.woke up at 1.e first ting was,look at fb cos i rmb hearin loads of emails!haha!=)and im soo happy!!!lovell sent me sooo many msges on fb!!!i was smilin to myself..i was touched.so touched.i dint expect him to send me soo many!!!!thanks hun!!=)
woke up,prepared and went out to e same italian restaurant.they dint serve pasta today only roast='(so had roast..sat abit and walked around e mall den went home..
managed to tok to lovell!!toked and today as its our anni,we had smth special=)but i made me miss him even more..i really hope he was he wif me.but,im not forcin him.really.i aint wan him to quit school just to come and accompany me for 2 weeks..im really happy to noe tat he is willin to do all those for me.but e thought is enuff,i aint wan him to really do it=)
anw,10th month and .....i'll rmb today!!=)lovell only went to bed at 5!im sorrie.make yew stay awake..i dint mean to.i only said wad i tot.den i dint noe yew..yew noe..ya.sorrie..hes gotta wake up at 9.gng to cut hair.but,im supopse to wake him up at 8,which im not gng to do=)haha!!i went to shower when he went to bed.now im makin hot e left over pizza and 6 meatballs for dinner=)im starvin!ive been eatin so unhealthily for tis weekend!!2 pizzas,cabonara,roast!OMG!!FAT!!!nvm.tis comin week eat lesser den next weekend and next next weekend eatin more again cos OB is here!ahh!!!!LONDON!!opps!haha!=)FAT!control control!!hehe
okie.toked to daddy bout e tax refund ting..apparently ive gotta feel up a form tingy den submit it in b4 departure at london..so,must rmb!!!!!!!=)hopefully i can get it.wif tax refund,at least cheaper=)hehe..
and,last of alL!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!!=)im sorrie e card will be late although i sent it lyk last week!!but,it was sent to me instead of yew!!haah=)
oh and lovells gonna meet daddy and mummy tomolo to return keys and help me go buy chocolate from chocs and give to mummy as her bdae present for now!and im gettin her a red,pink or purple iphone4 cover as her real bdae present!=)hehe.hopefully everythin goes well tomolo wif lovell and mummy..cos lovell cutin and dyin his hair..yupps.sooo..ya
anw,happy 10th month hun!!!=)i love yew!i always do!!!=)muuackx!!!
jr precious moments at 6:22 AM
Sunday, January 30, 2011 @12:39 PM
30jan2011
im so tired now till my head hurts!!!!!='(but today 10month..i wanna wait for hun to wake up.but i doubt he'll wake up so early de..haix..
i love yew hun!
im sorrie really cant wait for yew to wake up liao='(
jr precious moments at 12:39 PM
@11:39 AM
30jan2011
lovell saw my blog..den started cryin.cos he felt bad..cos he nv pei me..
i feel bad makin him cry sia !!!he shudnt read it sia!!
anw,i love him!muuackxxx!!!!!
happy anni hun!!!
10months not long not short..but..yea=)
i wan dere to have more 10months in future!!!!+)
i love yew lovell lim!!=)
jr precious moments at 11:39 AM
@1:59 AM
30jan2011
HAPPY 10TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY HUN!!!I LOVE YEW!!MUACKX!!!=)
THANK YEW FOR LOVING ME!!!!
although cant spend wif yew,im sorrie..but hopefully yewre enjoyin urself tonite hun!!!=)muuackx!!!!
I LOVE YEW,LOVELL LIM!!!=)
jr precious moments at 1:59 AM
Saturday, January 29, 2011 @3:20 PM
29jan2011
im a happy girl today although i dint get to tok to lovell ytd and wont ltr on.but he pei me tok just now until now=)im so happy!!!=)hehe
thank yew hun=)
jr precious moments at 3:20 PM
@2:43 PM
29jan2011
now im all sad again cos he is chasing me off to bed='(
i dowan slp.i dint tok to him ytd den today oso cant tok=='(i dowan slp!!!!='(
jr precious moments at 2:43 PM
@2:37 PM
29jan2011
im so happy!!!!!!!im tokin to lovell!!!=)i love him!!!i toked to him on e fone first den on skype=)
he needa clean his room den he just dump everythin on his table into e drawer and cupboard!idiot rite?!haha!=)
we had tis conver...
me:hun,i cannot tahan liao!!
lovell:ren la..tahan awhile more..
me:cannot.i need it now!desperately!!!
lovell,me:hmm..tat sounded very very wrong!!!=)hahaha!=)
anw,okie.den jasmine came.den say hi to her,den,damn stupid la..lovell ask me say hi to tis figure,den i dint noe who tat is..den i still ask who sia...den in e end is lovells bro la!!!!damn paiseh lo..den,lovell go shower..den he got nth to do..damn sian until he watchin juan jiao yu dao ai dvd on e tv!haah!=)den,now he lyin down on e sofa watchin it..haha!=)i love watchin him do tings=)nv tok,see him,i oso happy=)im so very very happy!!!
yay!!!so happy!!im smilin to myself while typin tis post!!=)
jr precious moments at 2:37 PM
@11:30 AM
29jan2011
hmm..lovell slpt all e way but,he kinda woke up soooo early lyk at 8 to pei me tok=)hehe!soooo happy la!!!lyk really happy la!!!!!hehe=)well,he called when i was on fone wif george..den yea..tok to hun for an hr den kup....
den dunno y he wake up so early den cook lo.cook burger apparently..hahah!=)den make whole hse smelly smelly...i miss him so much..den he gng to go clubbin tonite..haix..sian..borin nite again....
muuackx!
jr precious moments at 11:30 AM
@2:41 AM
29jan2011
hmm.woke up at 12 tinkin lovell will be home.he is home but he nv tell me='(haix.
i waited for him.den he oso nv reply lo..den he tell me he gamin wif his bro so reach home nv tell me=(haix.but nvm la.i dont mind la..yupps.den tok to him at here 4pm.den he say he go slp liao..hmm.den i tot he angry wif me cos....but,is not..he high twice lo!no wonder.guessed it anw..haha!=)
so,now im so bored here.nth to do.gonna go pom pom..yupps.im starvin too.but cant be bothered to cook..haix..sian.
anw,just now tok to daddy.daddy say mummy gonna buy iphone4 !!!den i lie to dad say i bought iphone4 liao!den i kena scold lo!!fuck!wadever la.den i duno wanna buy or not lo..yupps.so haix..stress..
i miss hun.i miss him so badly..tomolo he gonna go club..wif hes clique..hmm. dunno leh.i see him and yl lyk very pei lo.all e pictures..and lyk yl lyk lyk to stick to lovell very much..dunno leh..he and jh oso very pei...so,i oso dunno leh...but nvm..its fine=)
i miss him soo much!
jr precious moments at 2:41 AM
Friday, January 28, 2011 @3:13 PM
28jan2011
yay!toked to lovell=)he woke up at 2..den pei him tok..im in a good mood!=)im so happy liao=)cos lovell toks to me now liao=)eheh!
toks to him den he go pom pom.he damn bastard la!lie to his dad!hes dad call ask him ready anot,he say he is shittin!!!liar!he was in bed tokin to me lo!!!!idiot!!den,he damn funny.desperate to smoke until he was huntin money at e hse cos he not enuff money!in e end hafta call mummy and ask where got 2 dollars.haha!=)and guess wad?find money liao den nv go buy cos rain cats and dogs!ahaha!=)stupid
den he told me a news bout his mom..den i ask him to tok to his mom bout it..hopefully he does and his mom listens to it..den hes dad cal liao..so kup skype le lo..den here i am...7am..dunno wan slp anot..haix..im missin him already,how?
maybe i shud slp now quickly den ltr he finish his CNY shoppin den i can wake up tok to him..but dunno if he meetin his clique ltr..
anw,now im happy liao=)so,its fine=)
now i troublin bout iphone4..maybe ltr test daddy say i buy iphone4 liao,,,see wad he say=)hehehe=)
jr precious moments at 3:13 PM
@1:01 PM
28jan2011
hmm.lovell still slpin...sian.
anw,tok to big OB bout e train ting.but damn weird la!wad she see on e national rail web is different from wad i see..but we're lookin at e same ting la..so stupid lo...den i dont dare buy..
hmm..den,i wanna buy iphone4 sooooo badly!!!!!haix.so wish i can buy an iphone4 now!now now now!!!!
oh ya!my laptop was possessed!!!!it was lyk playin tis gu zheng music on tis own!!!and i cant find e source of it!!oh my god!!so scary la!i just started playin den cannot find it!!!in e end restart com lo...now its gone=)yay!!
i miss hun...
jr precious moments at 1:01 PM
@10:54 AM
28jan2011
hmm.i fell aslp.den lovell came home just b4 3..den called me..den we toked abit..hmm..tok for an hr den he went to bed..but i lost connection so kup once he fell aslp..
we toked bout he qian he qiu..he went temple wif yiling and e rest to qiu qian..den he jiu de qian apparently is good..yupps.just bits and bobs not so.haha!but overall its a good one=)
okie.he went to bed den i cooked.cooked pasta again.but tis tym,baked e pasta instead of boilin it..it taste so much den boilin it=)hmm.cleaned up e room abit as well..vacuumed,washed mirror and basin..tidied up..yupps.den had dinner,watch drama,chat wif alan den went to bed.soo tired...
woke up at spore 1015.and realised hun wake up liao so he called me..call liao,den he continued to slp..hes a pig!!!haha!=)
CNY is comin liao..OB is comin too.OMG!stress!!anw,im gng to london on fri or sat..so yupps.hope everythin will be okie..hmm.hafta pei hun more now.cos cny i suppose we wont be able to tok to each other much.he got hes bai nian to do..den i gotta be wif OB.hopefully got internet dere..if not im buyin an iphone4 on e spot!!!!....
was tokin to alan bout CNY..its been e third yr not bein able to celebrate it.i miss all e bai nians and sittin around playin dai di wif yinghong and ronald!!i miss e food..i miss e fun..i miss e visitins..i miss e occasion and miss e feelin of CNY!!i wanna decorate e hse,i wanna go walk chinatown,i wanna eat reunion dinner,i wanna shou shui..haix..cant do any of these for e next 2 yrs too='(hopefully my placement will be in spore..so i can celebrate CNY!!!=)hehehe
now tat im awake,i can pei hun till i dunno wad tym.just gonna pei him..hehe.im fine now=)aft he spend tym tokin to me,im fine=)im all happpy again!!=)hehehe.muuuackx!i love yew darlin=)
jr precious moments at 10:54 AM
@1:17 AM
27jan2011
finished exams.it wasnt tat difficult..i shudve studied for it!!!but oh well,i got no fuckin mood to..
anw,lovell fb me 9mins b4 i ended exam..sayin tat he no longer hear me sayin i love yew these 2 days..hes still at yilings hse..he told me he'll wait for me at home..but lyk i expected e moment he told me,i knew he'll be out late tonite..im fine wif it..not upset or anythin...
i dunno.i love him.but,im just down for e passed 2 days..im upset..im disappointed..im selfish!
well,tok to him on e fone when i reach my room..apparently i felt beta..perhaps tym really let tings go pass.i told him to gimme some tym to let tings pass,den everythin will be alrite..toked to him,i felt beta..not lyk last nite cryin myself to slp..
i realised i just needed him to tok to me and lettin me noe he rmbs me..and tats all.tokin to him lyk tat on e fone makes me feel alrite..totally fine!all e upsetness was wiped out!tats magic!!i need him..wads wrong wif me?!how can it be lyk tat...
but e moment he says he'll call me when he reach home cos hes playin majong,i was all down again!but not as down as ytd and e day b4..aft we put down e fone,i felt fine..im alrite..so,it must be just e 2 days stuffs tat make me down...
he wanted me to tell him why i was down.but i refused..tats cos i aint wan him to noe all these and eventually he'll tink im takin his freedom away from him.i aint wan him to feel lyk tat..i aint wan him to feel lyk how he felt when he was wif yc..so i kept quiet about all these..lucky i still have my blog tat i can tok to=)
jr precious moments at 1:17 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2011 @8:00 PM
27jan2011
hmm.cant slp e whole bloody nite again.haix=(y?!
woke up at 9ish..den realised lovell went to temple pray cos yiling bdae..den he ppray for us..
anw,he say i sound down and sian sian.den say maybe i moodswing..is not moodswings.y has it got to be me whose got a prob?y dint yew tink back wad yewve done and not done these 2 days??
its maybe just these 2 days yewre different?i feel lyk im needed only when yewre bored or have nth to do..i dunno.maybe these 2 days im askin for a bit too much?perhaps..
i dunno..i wanna go home.i wanna hide in my protected shell and nv hafta be lyk tat again=(
i hafta stop tinkin!my head really hurts so badly now!=(and exam ltr...haix...
jr precious moments at 8:00 PM
@1:48 PM
27jan2011
im sorrie i behaved lyk tat..i just dint wan to ruin ur mood.
anw,hopefully yew'll enjoy ur day wif ur clique..
bye bye...
jr precious moments at 1:48 PM
@12:37 PM
27jan2011
i dont now how am i suppose to take tis paper ltr.i cant slp..
he wans me to slp.so,all i can do is pretend to slp..i suppose he doesn noe tat im still not aslp..
y cant just stop tinkin?!
i need my rest..i haven been slpin well for e past week already!!!
sandra chang,why are yew so uselesS?!
y are yew cryin urself in bed?
y cant i slp?!
pls,can yew pls stop tinkin!!!='(
i feel hurt..i dunno y=(
i just wanna hide in my bed forever and not tok to anyone for now=(
jr precious moments at 12:37 PM
@10:36 AM
27jan2011
we tok for abit aft he gt his cigs den he went to bed liao..around 3..everthin was normal..
anw,so i went shower,den cooked pasta again..den watched kangxi while eatin..aft eatin wanted to revise.but really cant get anythin into my head...dunno y...haix..so started kistenin to songs on youtube and eventually,i fell aslp..i slpt so i cud tok to hun when he wakes up..finally he woke up at around 8ish..hes mom came in cos she goin to work liao..but lovell fell back aslp for abit den woke up again..
and e next ting i noe was he raised hes voice abit to ask me go to bed..hmm.tat makes my heart break once again=(so wad can i say?okie..nitex..den i put away e laptop den lie in bed liao lo..den started cryin..i dunno y i kept cryin over small tings lyk tat..haix..im not angry or anythin..just upset tat aft wad ive done tonite,slp earlier so i cud tok to him when we wake up..in e end,tats wad i got from him='(i hid under my blanket cryin and he kept sayin sorrie and stuffs,askin me not to be angry..i wasnt angry just upset..but i really cant turn to him and tok to him cos i was cryin..i dowan hin to noe tat im cryin='(
so many things started comin into my head while cryin..
first was CNY,big n small ob will be comin to london!!hmm.i cud've spend tym wif em from 1st feb.. but i really dowan to cos i wanna stay home to tok to lovell..although i noe he wudnt be home for chinese new yr,but im willin to stay in to wait for him..wait for him to come home from e bai nians and outins..i noe by e tym he gets home will be bed tym,but at least i get to tok to him still...
second was y did he raise his voice at me again?haix..i dunno wads gng on..haix..
third was,i really needed someone to tok to..so,i need my blog..so here i am typin tis..
den,i went to lock e door and found lovell aslp already..makes me tink if he really cared bout me or not..but,oh well...nvm..
hmm.wad if one day he sees tis blog and noe everythin?i dunno..i dont wan him to noe.i really dunno wad he'll say when he sees tis blog...
now,i cant slp again liao..cos of ob ting,exams,now e biggest bit is lovell..these few days i haven been slpin well at all!how?haix...i hate my life now='(
jr precious moments at 10:36 AM
@12:33 AM
26jan2011
slpt at 530..sent him a gd nite msg but no reply..
did i say wad we talked about last nite over e fone?we were tokin bout e hse and whom to do all e hse work!!i offered to make e bed and to wash lovell.haha!=) den e rest he do.den he say i need wash e clothes too!fine!!he needa wash toilet!haha!oh ya..and i wan a puppy.i offered to feed it and play wif it.he needa shower it and clean afft it=)heheh=)
anw,woke up at 830 thanks to george!she called me to tell me she got chased outta class and tat lovell is not meetin her already..den i asked her y.she say she dunno den asked me if i noe why..but apparently i dunno y..he dint tell me.so i went on fb see if he sent me any msges but,nopes.nth from him.so i sent him good mornin.den no reply..i waited and waited.hmm.den my mind was full of him den i cuddnt fall back aslp already..
hmm.den daddy called to ask y i was on skype.den i say no connection.hmm.daddy cud tell tat i was feelin sad..but obviously i had to pretend..so,no i was not!!den he put down e fone liao..hmm.tried gettin e internet but cudnt..so just laid in bed hopin lovell will send me a msg or smth..but nth..finally i msged him askin if his out wif james or nt,.den oso no reply..oh well..
finally he called me at 11ish spore tym..hmm.he dint tell me anythin.i dunno..he say im quiet and stuff.but i duno..den he dint tell me he dint meet george..well,he tried really hard to tok to me.but,seriously,no needa try so hard,if deres nth to tok about,really..i asked if he was able to read tings i posted on fb today,he said ya.so it means he was able to read e fb msges so e fone was still workin...but he dint reply to any of it...nvm..
den he asked me if he shud go outt and stuffs.club slack or stay home.obviously i'd say go out lo.den he starts sayin no he wanna stay home pei me.den he miss me and all..but if yew really did miss me,yew'd have sent me a msg or smth for e whole day,at least..haix.am i askin for too much?
well,e moment yew said yew miss me alot,tears started to roll down..i dunno y..but it started to roll down..den i tried so hard to keep it from fallin,but it still did..told him its fine for him to go out.den he said he'll call me in a bit he call his fren first ba,i suppose.but he texted me ltr sayin he found me restless today and hes stayin home to pei me.i suppose his fren was aslp already ba..
den my internet came back on=)so i went on skype wif him.den started apologisin to me say tat hes sorrie he dint tell me tat he went out..hmm.at tat moment,i felt okie liao..wads wrong wif me?y am i behavin so childishly?!i really hoped he tells me wad he did when he went out wif his frens and maybe send me one or 2 msges while his out..is it a little too much?maybe just tell me wad he was doin wif his frens wud be fine...
now,hes out to buy cigarettes.im sure i can be normal again!dont wan him to noe all these....
jr precious moments at 12:33 AM
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 @11:56 PM
26jan2011
Revision not done.den watched drama nia.damn shag!worried but really dunno how to revise!haix=’(gemma texted me and asked me bout revision.she isn’t gng on well wif it as well..yupps.haix.tink we’re all so dead already!haix
Anw,cooked dinner.cooked pasta.bought penne and a cheese and bacon sauce.added meatballs and mushrooms to it.hmm.e sauce tasted weird I tot.yupps.still prefer rice!haha=)aft eatin,watched kangxi for a bit den lovell woke up at spore 830.and my fuckin internet had to be cut off when he wake up!!damn!den cannot connect back on!so lovell called me on my fone.den we tok while he did his resume tingy..den elsa came to knock on my door ask me if my internet workin anot.apparently marica says tat everyones internet not workin!wah!!damn shag liao lo!haix=’(dunno tomolo will okie anot lo!haix.so,I continue tok to lovell on e fone..every one hr hafta kup once.
Hmm.i realised we tok more when we’re on e fone.we toked quite abit.bout pri sch,sec sch and all tat!!!at least get to really tok to him today liao.haha=)we haven been tokin much tis tym I gt back here.he end work,den its lyk e routine.e little game we play,and other tat,he’ll go to bed=(it just makes me wonder again y did he tok to me for?just for tat???
Anw,tok tok tok,we toked for lyk 3hrs=)yippee=)so happy.hmm.den he called me e 4th tym askin me to go to bed liao.hmm.well,I cant go to slp.i dunno y.i told him I got loads of stuffs in my head tis morning and aftnoon and I couldn’t fall aslp.but I lied bout e bit where I said I dunno wad about..tis morning I cudnt slp cos I was waitin for him to at least reply my msg on fb.but wait wait wait,he nv.so I cudn fall aslp soundly at all=(den aftnoon,I was waitin for him to reply me on fb as wel cos he was out wif his bro fren.den he said he’ll fb me.so I waited..den I started tinkin bout e changes and wad he was doin and all tat.so I cudn fall aslp at all although I was sooo tired…but,oh well,im not intendin to tell him any of it.
He said he tells me everythin.but,I mean,he only tells me when I ask.but if I keep askin its as though Im interferin wif his life.maybe its cos im here and his dere and I wanna be involved and noe wad he was doin when he was out wif his bro fren..but he nv told me anything about it.so I tink maybe I shudn ask too den…he tells me ‘I love yew,I really do love yew a lot’ it makes me wonder…am I tinkin too much or wad?i dunno..
Seriously wifout e blog,I suppose I’ll be lyk last term,sittin by e table cryin everyday..i had no one to tok to..i had nth to do..it was too bored till I cudn take it and started cryin myself to bed every nite..lovell doesn noe bout it till I told him when I was back in spore.maybe I shudn have told him bout it.i mean,lyk just now,he ask me go slp..although I said okie.but I noe very well tat im lyin to him,but I still told him I’ll go to bed.den he started sayin make sure I go to bed wor and don’t start cryin say he nv pei me.i nv wan him to pei me 24/7.i just hope maybe he cud send me msges tym to tym just lyk how it was when I first came to uni…but I suppose tings have changed…
But I really just wan him to noe,even if I go out wif frens or in sch,he’s still my priority.i send him msges tym to tym tellin him wad im doin..every single details although it seems lyk im tokin to myself.im still doin wad I did e first tym i return to uk in april 2010..im really happy to wake up and see tat ive got a msg on my fb from him.but now,I rarely see tat anymore…
Now,I cant go to bed and I aint wanna disturb lovell from wadever he is doin..since he’s e one who chased me off to bed..i tink I’ll watch ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni again,since I got no internet connection=(but hes in my head………
jr precious moments at 11:56 PM
@4:31 AM
25jan2011
hmm.rite.i tried to do some revision.but seriously i cant.i dunno how to revise=(haix.
lovell come home liao.den skyped me..i was expectin him to tell me wad he did wif bros fren and where he went and all tat..but he dint mention a single ting..he dint tell me anythin bout e nite at all=(haix.i dunno y..i tot he'll tell me bout it and all tat..really hoped he'll tell me everythin.he always says tat he tells me everythin and cant help but will tell me everythin no matter wad,but everytym its not lyk tat.wad he says is always different from wad he said and does.haix.i oso dunno wad im tinkin and doin!!y am i so selfish?!urgh!i hate myself!!=(
anw,lovell watched his liu xing hua yuan den i tried studyin.den,he asked me to do e usual stuffs.den,i dint do.apparently he not happy i guess?den he went to slp straight away..well..
i dunno.sometyms i really wonder if lovell really loves me or just wans me to do certain tings he wan at tat point of tym..i really hate myself for tinkin lyk tat.but,so many tings makes me tink tis way.
i mean..for gamin,i can me left alone for days..for frens,he can go out wif his frens den leave me waitin at home..den keep tellin me im so sorrie i nv pei yew and all tat kinda stuffs.he wans me to wait for him at home and will tok to be on fb.but once his out,he'll forget bout me..he'll nv fb me.den i'll stupidly wait for him and send him msg,lyk tokin to myself lyk tat.but im used to it already. its fine..
aft gettin wad he wans,den he'll be in bed already..now,he's in bed,i feel empty once again.haix.izzit cos im lonely or wad?haix=(i hate myself..
jr precious moments at 4:31 AM
@2:52 AM
25jan2011
hmm..stayed up till 9am to pei lovell tok..but apparently he was gamin all e way.but we did tok bout drinkin tat nite wif fujiun and george.he said his disappointed wif me.he felt tat frens are more important den him in my heart..hmm.but it was just tis one tym i did tat..everythin i did was wif him.den i tot to myself,hes e one gng out wif frens and leavin me behind waitin for him.but i cant say and control him,so tats fine..maybe im just to selfish..
hmm.nvm.den he was hungry and wanted to smoke.so he wan me slp liao den go.so no choice i slp lo.den he went to smoke.den he come back jiu kup my call liao.but i oso haven slp.tink he tot tat i slp already ba..but oh well.i guessed its so much..he must have kup my call so he can play game wif james..so i slp lo..den 12 jiu wake up liao..wanted pei lovell tok.but he seems lyk hes busy cos he nv send me any fb msg=(
dunno leh,wake up nv see anythin,i feel sad.depressed.haix.but nvm..den,i tried to slp again.but i cant fall aslp tinkin lovell now already dont put me in e first place..i dont wanna be tinkin tis..but i realised gamin seems more important to him..he will just game for hours makin me stay on webcam and not really tokin to me.i dunno if i shud be feelin lyk tis..oh well..
he called me at 2ish sayin y i nv call him.hmm.i dunno y.but e tot of him gamin,i just aint wanna call him..den he kept apologisin say nv pei me and anythin.say i sacrifice so much for him.hmm.den say he nv do anythin for me..i just dunno wad to say.so just smile say im fine and everythin lo..i just dowan him to noe how i really feel..nvm..
okie.den toked to him for afew mins den his bros fren called den he went out liao.den he said wil tok to me on fb.but,in my mind,i noe he'll not.just as i expected..he dint send me any msg..but,oh well..nvm.
so,i went to e post office send mummy bdae card.den went to tesco buy rice and pasta jiu come home liao.came home,expect some msg from lovell..but nopes.dont have.so,i went to slp lo.but dunno y cant slp soundly at all.haix..kept tinkin bout him and everythin..haix.anw,slp till 6 wake up..and realised deres no fb msgs from lovell too=(haix.dunno leh..lyk disappointed?wadever la.
hmm.wanted to revise but really cant be bothered to do it.in my mind only got him..really no mood study liao.haix..hmm.lovells just called me..250.but seems lyk we haven got anythin to tok about at all='(he started playin his sims again.haix...
jr precious moments at 2:52 AM
Tuesday, January 25, 2011 @1:38 PM
25jan2011
woke lovell up.but tat stupid george gave wrong tym.she say 2 end lesson in e end 1 jiu end liao.so lovell not meetin her liao cos she gng woodland meet her darlin!=)haha!!glad she and her darlin is gng on well=)okie.so instead of meetin today.theyre meetin over dinner tomolo...
and i gt a good news!!!=)george comin uk on e 2march!!!!!to 12march!!!yipee!!den if she no sub-paper den she can stay here longer=)hehe!!so happy!!=)den shes gonna go back home tonite to check e air ticket and everythin den tell me again.den shes gonna call mummy and daddy tomolo to ask for help in bookin e air ticket!hahah!=)yay!!!but she waitin for her dad to transfer her e money first.yupps=)
but it'll be even happier if lovell is e one comin over..but nvm..can tok to him over webcam i very happy liao!=)hehehe=)
jr precious moments at 1:38 PM
@11:26 AM
24jan2011-25jan2011
woke up at 2 and cant be bothered to go sch today=)opps!!hhaha!=)den continue to slp till 3.gemma oso nv go sch today..hah!=)so happy!i can tok to lovell anytym and whenever i wan=)hehe=)
hmm.he today game e whole day..play his sims3:ambitions.den make me help him look for e guide and everythin..den he keep gamin and gamin.
hmm.and i called e bank.unblock my debit card liao=)can use le!!yay!dunno still wanna buy my iphone anot lo!!urgh!stress!!but haven transfer money yet..and mummy actually told alan i transferin 1500 give him!!!and i dont fuckin have enuff la!i only have 2000!!wth!?!!?must tok to mummy when i wake up..
anw,den his mummy came back from malaysia.den bought mac for him.so he went to eat den i went pom pom..hmm.den he continue to game game and game..den he slp liao=(he slpt at 230..haix.to be honest.today nv really get to tok to him much=(his obsese wif his sims!idiot him.but nvm la.wad to do.just let him play lo...
he slp den i went to heat up my 6 meatballs and half a pizza which was left over last nite..finished it den guess wad!??!?!i fuckin fell aslp!im a pig man!!total pig sia!!slpt from around 9ish to 1am sia!!woke up at e same tym as lovell.and when i saw him.he playin his sims already!!wah!!game again.he game den cannot stop de lo.den since he game,i jiu watch my kangxi lo.since he oso dont li wo...den he tired liao.jiu fall aslp again liao...haix.now i awake and i cant fuckin go back to slp sia.how?tomolo lesson still at 12.but gemma gng for e 1-2 de.den simona not gng.
hmm.i dont noe if i wanna go anot lo..sian...tink i not gng ba..just gonna go send letter and go buy rice,jiu come home le ba.cant be bothered.seriously i tink i needa start studyin liao sia!tues liao..exams on thurs!shag sia!!!!tomolo study!!!must!
hmm.now spore 1125..lovell meetin george at tp at 2 to pass her my fone..so im gonna wait till he go out liao den i slp=)hehe!!dunno ltr will get to tok to him anot.i tink he ltr will meet e rest of em..so wont be able to tok ba...but..nvm..i love him..i'll wait for him=)den shun bian study while waitin=)muuuackx!
jr precious moments at 11:26 AM
Monday, January 24, 2011 @12:11 PM
24jan2011
he woke up at 1030am spore tym!!=)den we toked and played a little game!=)haha!den tat silly lovell so tired den still wake up just to pei me tok..now he's fallen back into his slp again=)hes a pig!!hahaha!=)
hmm.i feel really bad!!so many of our annis i dint spend wif him!hes gotta spend it alone.our 1 yr anni is comin in 9weeks tym and i cant spend it wif him hes gotta be alone!i dint spend christmas wif him too!i wont be able to spend chinese new yr,valentines day and his birthday as well as our 1yr anni!!!i feel horrible!im so sorrie hun.hopefully yew'll be able to have a nice chinese new yr wif ur frens and family and a good bdae wif james and e rest of em!im so sorrie hun!!!!!
den im gng to bed liao its 4am le..beta go to bed.tomolo still got lesson.sian!='(haix...thanks hun for pei-in tok!i love yew!!=)
now lovells awake thanks to james!!!he called at e wrong tym..but im sure he will fall back aslp in no tym!=)hahah!!!!!=) i wish i can dont slp and tok to him 24/7=)
jr precious moments at 12:11 PM
@6:19 AM
23jan2011
lovell called me when he ended work=)den pei him tok tok tok.den he ask me to slp liao='(so i continue slp lo.den he went my hse feed didi meimei.den when he reach home den called me again=)den we slpt together=)hehe!slpt for 2 hrs..den woke up at 2pm.but lovell still slpin lyk a pig=)
today is so damn borin!i had nth to do at all!woke up at 2 den ate e left over rice from last nite..den nth to do again.watched drama all e way.den george msn me at 6..by den,i was fallin aslp liao.haha!=)so nv tok to george cos i wan orh orh..den slpt all e way till 930 den wake up lo!lovell is still slpin when i woke up..wake up jiu msn wif alan.hes done wif his bdae card=)tomolo ive gotta send mine..its a must no matter wad!!slp wake up jiu eat,eat liao den continue slp den now wake up hungry again..sian!!!so,eatin pizza=)now waitin for flat mate to finish cookin her food in oven den i can put my pizza in e oven=)and 4meatballs too!=)
hmm.wonder wad tym lovell willl wake up lo.haix.so wanna tok to him..but im glad hes in bed and restin=)hes so tired.now he can rest for abit b4 startin to work once again=)hmm.but worry he now lyk tat,sure keep gng out play play play den by den needa work again,he cant take it=(
hmm.ltr if he wake up den can tok.dunno if i'll get to tok to him b4 i slp tonight anot....
jr precious moments at 6:19 AM
Sunday, January 23, 2011 @10:07 AM
22jan2011
i fell aslp!and woke up at spore 620am!i jumped up la!!!overslpt!den lovell was not online on skype.so called him!and guess wad?!he nv even answer!almost 30 miss calls la!den he called me back at 7am say he pom pom already.den he gng to leave hse liao.he say he dint hear any of my calls!='(haix.den tell me his fone not charged.so e fone no batt='(haix.sadded.cant tok to him=(he took bus.lucky on tym=)
he is lyk damn tired lo.slpt only for 3 hrs.poor him!haix.see him lyk tat everyday,work until so tired,i damn heart pain lo.haix.see him everytym finish work go home,den lie in bed jiu fall aslp lyk tat liao..so xin ku lo..haix.hopefully his new work place not as tiring as workin in marche ba..
i really hope i can he everyday end work jiu pei him.although is just see him slp only,i oso dont mind just lookin at him slp everyday if tats all i can do and accompany him!i love yew hun!=)
jr precious moments at 10:07 AM
@5:18 AM
22jan2011
okie.today slpt aft lovell finish break which was around 4ish in e mornin den slp..den,hun end work at spore 4 which is 8am.he called me at 830.and dunno y i damn energetic.den pei him tok until he reach my place.webcam abit wif didi meimei=)den i continued to slp=)lovell den washed e kitchen,feed em and bring em go gaigai..den he stupidly took 966 and missed e bus stop!idiot!den i noe he damn tired.reach home jiu fall aslp liao.nv pom pom jiu slp le.ee...so smelly!haha!
den he wake up jiu call me le.den i woke up at 12.den we continue slp together..den he wake up liao nv wake me up!!!!den he go pom pom and watch despicable me.idiot him.he loves watchin despicable me!dunno y.haha!=)den i woke up jiu pei him tok all e way.den he ordered mac eat liao den continue tok to me=)den disturbed him..damn funny la.saw ahem!!opps!but still i will continue to disturb until i reach spore=)hehe.he toked to his mom bout his future and everythin.and today another shockin news!!i cant imagine havin my life ruined.it may well be a period where i am rebellious or wad,ive always wanted to try tings lyk tat.but i wud nv imagine gettin myself into trouble..which is equivalent to havin my life ruined..
anw,we continued tokin all e way till his bro came back.den he went high wif his bro liao.so i toked to mummy.they not extendin e stay at hk.tomolo jiu go home liao.toked to her bout chinese new yr and realised tat i'll be alone for chu yi,chu er,chu san and chu shi wu='(haix.den chu yi and er hafta stay in cos got those ppl come do e rally ting..damn scary.so hafta stay in my room alone again.haix.den lovell oso sure go out for cny de..den i alone again.damn shag...wad to do?haix..
den went shower den went to cook.den hun high finish jiu call me den slp le.hmm.but suay suay my connection lost='(den skype kup liao='(haix.
i miss him so much!tomolo his last day at work..i noe he loves tis job at marche.but cos of e boss den make until lyk tat..haix.now dunno he gng where to work next liao..dunno will it be a good place for him or not..hopefully ba..y has it gotta be chinese new year at tis tym?if not i can be unreasonable and ask him to fly to uk to look for me and have a break since hes havin a short break b4 he start work at new place...haix.but im not and cant do tat..nvm,e day will come eventually!=)
its only been 2 weeks since i left spore and back to tis lonely place alone,but i feel lyk its been ages!ive got another 11weeks to go b4 i can come home='(will tym please pass faster?!or at least let it pass quickly till george comes over!!at least i got someone pei me..haix..dunno if she still comin anot.hmm.i really hope lovell will be able to come here.but i cant say it to him.nvm.as long as we're together,everythings gonna be fine..
another ting,exams on thurs.im so nervous bout it but seriously i cant be bothered to study at all!!urgh!how?!its lyk 60%of the overall grade!im so dead!seriously dead='(haix..
okie.gonna hafta call lovell to wake up in an hrs tym.for now im feelin sooo slpy.but cant take a nap scared i overslp den nv wake dragon no workin up!muackx!i love yew hun!=)
jr precious moments at 5:18 AM
Saturday, January 22, 2011 @11:35 AM
22jan2011
yay!everythin is alrite=)he okie le.not angry me liao..
hmm.today lovell very difficult to wake him up.i was practically tokin to myself cos lovell lim cant hear me!!idiot!hmm.today is e first tym i tok to lovell from he got off bed and reach kallang=)yay!!!!haha!=)seen everythin he did..haha!=)
hmm.den ive been tokin to hun all e way till he break.was tryin to disturb him=)but apparently he dont lemme disturb cos i believe he cant resist temptations yet he say he can=)haha!=)now he finish break liao den cannot tok liao cos today weekend=(gonna be very busy.tomolo his last day of work..
hmm.i'll be honest,seriously,i very happy he tomolo last day at work den he no needa work for at least 2weeks=)now,i can tok to him anytym i wan=)but i believe he will be gng out wif james and e clique den weekends i believe he will go out wif bro high and everythin..now he no needa work,i believe he wont be stayin at home for most of e tym to be honest.but still im willin to wait for him at home.i'll just wait in my room and on my bed just to be able to tok to him.
hmm.dunno y..today i miss lovell so much!!miss him so very much!='(i need him so badly.i suddenly miss lovell so much!!especially him huggin me from behind lyk always and fallin aslp=)i really feel safe and secure when im in his arms.i dunno y.i just love him huggin me.i need him.i really do..how i wish he can really hug me now!=(haix.i wonder if her'll really be able to make it to uk!i really cant imagine e days where its just me and him leavin alone!muackx!i love yew hun!=)
jr precious moments at 11:35 AM
@4:42 AM
21jan2011
woke up very tired.lovell called and i cant be bothered to wake up once again..cos i woke up at 9 very energeticly tinkin lovell end work already='(in e end,not yet=(den went back to slp till 10 den by den too tired to wake up le.woke up at 12 den pom pom den billy came.den he went shower den went to e mall..went shoppin bought a scarf from primark and a shorts from river island.den went tesco buy groceries den come back.
by den lovell was in bed le.he went to sch today.and hes pissed wif principal cos e principal only said 2 sentences to him and ask him go home and wait for call..den he met his dad,he oso pissed bout e chinese new yr reunion dinner.den,hes not happy tt billy is alone wif me.hmm.im sorrie hun..i shudn have spent tym alone wif him.im sorrie.hmm.lovell lyk dont trust me when im wif another guy alone.he somehow tinks tat smth will happen between me and him..
i come to realise tat lovell is very protective of me..he dreamt bout smth was gng on between me and him..but i dont understand e bit where he can do smth and i cant..i mean its fine if he goes out and play wif his frens and i stay in waitin for him.but i cant go out wif my frens.its fine if he brought a girl back to his room.but its not okie for me to..i dunno.i love yew very much.im sorrie if i did smth to hurt yew today.sorrie.im really sorrie.i cant lose yew..i need yew...i love yew....
jr precious moments at 4:42 AM
Friday, January 21, 2011 @9:01 AM
20jan2011
today wake lovell up very qing song=)he very easy jiu wake up liao=)i love him!!=)pei him tok until reach kallang den kup liao lo..muackx!everythings good=)hehe=)
jr precious moments at 9:01 AM
@7:01 AM
20jan2011
alrite..lovell dint call me until i ended lecture.he called at 4..sayin hes on hes way to my place to feed didi meimei.which is 12am already and didi mei mei haven eat yet...he went tampines to watch movie and everythin instead of gng to katong pei james cut hair.
lecture was crap!everyone were lyk messin around and all!!!!!and i had to sit next to e 2 most noisiest ppl in class!!!!den i oso cant be bothered to listen already!kept checkin my fb to see if lovell replied any of my msges but apparently,no,he dint reply me='(haix.oh well=(oh,and next weeks e bloody exam and everyone is still messin around!!anw,lovell called aft class, i dunno why i will lyk angry angry.maybe cos he nv fb me or anythin lo.haix='(sad='(but start tokin den nvm liao.its once again gone.not angry liao=)hmm.tok to him,den he from paya lebar walk all e way to my place.den skyped wif him at my place cos i wanna see didi meimei=)so we did,den he wash toilet and everythin.den i disturb didi mei mei den they ignore me only care bout lovell='(idiot!!feed didi they all liao,he jiu go off liao.cos 1 liao.too late le..den he went off den took cab home.den still skyped all e way til he got home..den,he pom pom.den i disturb him..only me and him noe wad it is..haha!=)so,we continue webcam and everythin..
and guess wad?!?!?!i heard a news which i can nv and dowan to imagine!!its lyk make me tink bout lovell gng out wif her and him and i dunno wad to do='(i will not go out wif em if shes dere.its fine if lovell wans to go or does go out wif em.but i wudnt lyk to.especially aft wad lovell tried to do e day b4!!haha!=)tym passes really quickly when im tokin to him..den very quickly,he had to slp liao cos 230 le.den he tomolo work mornin='(haix.oh well,and i fell aslp wif him again.haha!=)slpt till 930 den wake up to eat porridge again.hmm.
tomolo lovell needa go back sch discuss e sch stuffs wif principal.hopefully everythin goes well=)dunno how will everythin be lyk in e future aft he stop work at marche on sunday=(haix.
oh ya.den today liu po po bdae party.mummy daddy attended it.dunno how it is.hafta ask em tomolo..now,ive gotta study,draw mummys bdae card and get it sent out tomolo!!!!dint get to meet billy today cos he went to bedford instead of luton.but will meet him tomolo.he wanna watch movie but i dowan.tomolo make him go shoppin wif me.needa buy boots as well=)haha!=)
hafta wake lovell up in 15mins=)i dunno y but im lyk so totally in love wif him!wads wrong wif me?!haix...hes lyk my everythin already!!!
jr precious moments at 7:01 AM
@12:10 AM
20jan2011
woke up real early today just to pei lovell tok.i got lesson from 2-6,den lovell workin mornin on fri.so wake up earlier pei him tok.woke up at 7am.but tok to lovell at 745am.dunno where he gone to.anw,tok to him till 10.dunno y today kept lookin at him.just felt lyk lookin at him..den he went out wif james and ali they all.pei james cut hair.den dunno they doin wad liao...hmm.well,he high go out de..sian.den,tok to him on fone until he met james.den i tried to slp.until 1045den fell aslp..den,woke up at 1215.apparently lovell forgot bout me.he was suppose to wake me up.but doesnt matter..expected it already..hmm.and,hopefully he rmbed bout didi and meimei..yupps..den billy went to e wrong place.he went bedford instead of luton.so maybe not meetin him liao..hmm.now hafta go for class liao..and lovell haven even send me a msg or so=(haix..
jr precious moments at 12:10 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2011 @7:09 AM
i love yew
hmm.he came home earlier den expected=)
well,i dunno y but he dint tell me anythin bout his nite out.not even a single ting..i was waitin for him to tell me how was e nite out and stuffs but dere was nth at all..well,lyk wad mel said i shudn make him tell me everythin.so i dint ask=(i told lovell bout wad mel said.e bit where he dont hafta tell me everythin and lovell agrees to wad mel said..
hmm.just makes me wondered wad he use to say was real..did he tell me everythin which he use to say he did..or he tok out bits and just kept quiet about some?i dunno.den he started sayin he feels tat we no longer have any topic to tok about.tat made me upset.tat feelin was dere again='(den he asked me if i still loved him and asked me to wad extend do i love him.my heart just sank...i dunno y but tat made me cry once again='(i covered e camera straight and kup e call..i dont wan him to see me cryin..i dunno y i started cryin.i dunno y and wad made him ask me tat..izzit smth tat ive done or wad?hmm.its not me not wantin to tok to yew.is just tat yewve got so many tings to do tis week tat yew haven tok to me.bro,frens and slp...i dunno.just felt really upset.sometyms it just makes me wonder if yew really meant it when yew say i love yew,or izzit sayin tat so i wont get angry for yew not pei-in me?i cant differentiate it..im not angry when yew nv pei me.of course i will feel down but i wont be mad about it.its fine.it'll be alrite if yew fb me once in awhile when yewre out wif ur frens or come home and tok to me and it'll be alrite..
well,he started cryin and sayin he misses me and everythin.it made me felt worst.im sorrie for leavin yew dere everytym..tat always brings up e tot of breakin up.i shudn be so selfish..he cud've found another girl in spore who can be by his side whenever he needs her..but here i am bein a selfish bitch keepin him to me when im in UK.im sorrie.den as normal he'll fall aslp once again..nitex hun,i love yew..
hmm..to wad extend do i love yew?yewre my priority when im here.i nv went out wif frens or anythin so i cud just come home to tok to yew.i wait patiently for yew to end work and come home from meeting frens everyday.i check my fb every sec to see if yew replied my msg when im in school.everythin i did and do,i tink bout yew..apparently,my world revolves round yew now.i dont noe how i'll survive wifout yew although e amount of tym yew spend wif me when im in uk is so little.as long as i get to tok to yew for 5mins,it'll be abe to last me till e next tym i tok to yew.i love yew.
jr precious moments at 7:09 AM
@5:04 AM
19jan2011
today hun work aftnoon.so dint get to pei him tok b4 he work=(hmm.slpt till 2 den wake up.stomach pain pain den cant be bothered to move at all..so continued lyin in bed until mummy skyped me at 4..they went to shenzhen pei yeye visit dentist.while tokin to mummy lovell called.den dint tok to him.call him back,he in cab liao.so nv tok to him.he gng sing wif his tong shi men..gonna sing till 6 in e mornin.he in cab so kup liao lo=(so,chat wif melvin and fujiun lo.talked to mel bout loads of stuffs.fujiun lyk nv reply cos he watchin magamind.hmm.mel asked my y i wanna lose weight soo desperately.tat made me ask myself.first is cos lovell is so tiny,i dowan to look massive next to him.another is cos now deres jasmine and shes pretty and all.i dont wanna look lousy and all tat.den mel say me..i shudnt care bout wad others tink of me.i shudn feel inferior.but dunno y i just do!!den,we talked bout lovell.i told him i haven really toked to lovell since i got back.its either lovell neeeda pei bro,or meet frens go out,den come home jiu slp liao..den he said i shudn find unnecessary troubles.lyk lovell shud go out,he shudn spend all his tym tokin to me.i agree wif wad he said.i left him dere alone.oh well..just hafta get use to just bein alone..hmm.lovell fb me say hes sorrie for not pei-in me again.and e next ting yew noe deres no reply already.so e sorrie is just contradictin..nvm..had porridge for dinner.den george called me.now tokin to her on msn.she showed me tis ed-hardy bag!!and its sooo pretty!!!damn pretty!shes gonna buy.but very ex.200ish includin postage and everythin...if she do wine fair den she buy.haha!=)and,shes usin e mickey blankey i gave her dunno how long ago.haha!=)she keeps tokin bout buyin stuffs!den branded somemore..dunno wad to say sia..hmm.now its 5am dere.i suppose lovell will be home around 7am.den go to bed.den tomolo he off,he sure slp in den meet james go cut hair.den i in sch 2-6.wont be able to lovell again cos fri he work mornin=(oh well.he just called.hes at home downstairs liao.den gng pom pom den slp le..yupps.well post again see whether we gt tok anot..yupps...
jr precious moments at 5:04 AM
Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @9:14 AM
18jan2011
aft wakin lovell wifout him raisin voice at me,pei-ed him tok until kallang,i tried to slp.but dunno y i miss him so much..i cant slp=(
hmm.well,daddy woke up,so toked to him for a few mins asked him to get me those duck tongue,kidney and everythin from hk,den mummy woke up,den talked.they went to hk in e aftnoon.dunno they now dere how?hmm.i actually miss em so much='(i wanna tok to e but it just end up in an arguement.its just pointless.now,all i can tok to is tis,blog.alan no longer toks to me,i cant tell daddy mummy anythin..george cant be bothered.lovell,i dunno how tell him some tings..anw,i'll just type here everyday till i get back=)
hmm.went to sch to meet cher.couldnt wake up at all.lovell had to keep wakin me up.he went to feed didi meimei.had mac nuggets for lunch.went for lecture and for e first tym i borrowed a book outta library=)lovell went teoheng wif ali and james.den yingchuan came.hmm.he told me how he disturb ali and yc..he was tryin to kiss ali james and yc..dunno i xiao qi or wad.but i dont lyk e fact he wanted to kiss yc although is just disturb..maybe cos she is yc.but i cannot restrict him to all e rules normal couples do..im here and hes alone dere.if anythin happens,i'll just hafta face it.oh well..but doesnt he feel weird disturbin his ex by wantin to give her a kiss?i dunno..doesnt matter anw..
hmm.he called me at 12ish sayin he's home and apologisin to me tat he nv pei me..just lyk always,apologise comes too often tat i no longer noe if he meant it or just sayin..i dont and cant blame him for gng out wif frens.just lyk wad jasmine said,i cant restrict him.he's got his life to live.is just tat tings have changed so much since we 30/03.i was always in e first place even when i was back in uk.i noe im selfish but,it just shows how tings have changed and will change over e months..fb mgses gt shorter and shorter.nvm.i cannot ask for too much!!=)i just love him!!
well,back to e day.he got home,passed e fone to his mom.den i tok to her.shes worried bout leonard as well as lovell.she wans me to quan lovell to study.now lovell is gonna continue studyin,thanks to leonard=)another ting was his mom asked if lovell was still gonna come look for me as i told her im comin back in april..i said i dont tink so.i can hear from her voice she is relieve when i said no..now ive gotta quan lovell not to come..finished tokin to auntie,den toked to lovell.dint really tok much,den he fell aslp as usual.i fell aslp mins aft him while starin at him slp and only woke up at 10!!!i dreamt again=(been dreamin so much lately.i dreamt i was left standin alone at hse busstop waitin for daddy to come pick me on a rainin nite.and he nv did..he came hrs aft i was drenched standin dere waitin for him..
anw,woke up and ate meggie for dinner den watched drama and type tis..hmm.hopefully i dint pass e germs to lovell.he say he dont feel too good tink gonna sick liao='(haix.
oh ya.pass 2 nites,ive been havin very emotional dreams.first nite was i had an arguement wif mom dad and bro as usual,den me,lovell and bro were suppose to be gng to sch.we had to be in sch by 1230.but we were still home at den.so we tot no point waitin for dad to fetch us to sch so we left.when we were about to leave,dad was lyk,fine..i'll send yew to sch.but,my auntie had to jump out and mess everythin up.and e arguement started again!i was actually cryin in my slp!!!='(2nd dream which was tis mornin,i dreamt daddy brought me to worksop college to study again but as a lower 6.i was reluctant to leave daddy..we were brought to meet mr parker.dere was tis long flight of stairs..daddy was leavin!!i dint wan to stay bhind so i ran towards him hugged him and begged him to bring me home too..i started cryin and everythin.i dont lyk being left bhind once again!i wanna go home='(typin tis makes me cry again='(i hate bein left alone in uk=(i woke up in my tears to answer my mornin call from lovell.been 2 slp wakin up in tears='(hopefully dere wont be a 3rd mornin wakin up lyk tat..
tis is a long post!i believe its gonna be lyk tat for e next 3 months cos i dont have anyone to tok to..im gonna be random,lovell lim is hidin under his blankey and slpin lyk a pig now!!=)i love yew huN!!really do!=)
jr precious moments at 9:14 AM
Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @11:04 PM
18jan2011
yay!!lovell nv raise his voice at me when i wake him up tis mornin!=)
jr precious moments at 11:04 PM
@5:35 AM
17jan2011
hmm.woke up at 9am.lovell called me once he ended work=)he said daddy called him say wanna meet him pass him keys.daddy and mummy gng hk tomolo.so lovell lookin aft didi and meimei..i was too tired so dint tok to lovell for long.i went back to slp.den woke up at 12.but lovell was gamin wif james.so,i say i go back to slp lo.hmm.i dunno y i felt disappointed.but im used to it already though..so not tat bad.
hmm.aft tokin to him when i wake up and showered,e upsetness from wad happened last nite is once again gone..its always lyk tis..once he tok to me.everythin will be fine..talked to him,he went to meet daddy at hse downstairs,den continue tok to him.dad reach home den tok to me, AND,YAY!!!I CAN COME BACK TO SPORE FOR EASTER!!DAD BOOK TICKETS FOR ME ALREADY!!!!!!=)booked den change for 4pm lesson.went.den came back at 440 cos we weren needed dere.so cher told us to go..haha!=)came back.den got some indians disturb me.came back den talked to lovell until he slp.hmm.i just love lookin at lovell lim slp.dunno why..toked to george while cookin..den eat liao den watch my drama.hmm.ltr hafta wake him up again.scared he will raise his voice at me again..hopefully not ba..hes made me cry thousands of tyms.but i dunno y i can just forgive him aft he spoke to me.all i hafta do is pretend nth happened and everythin will be alright=)
jr precious moments at 5:35 AM
Monday, January 17, 2011 @7:48 AM
2011
Gonna post again.although nobody reads tis.but since im bored,i shud post to pass tym..i can record my thoughts and feelins here..many tings happened and tis is wad happened tat made me wanna write my feelings somewhere.but i dunno where and who i can tok to..george wouldn listen to all tis small tings.i cant possibly tell him,i cant tell family..so,i shud just type it here...
hmm.today,731am,17jan2011,he raised his voice for e first tym when i wake him up.'CAN YEW STOP!'
hmm..aft tat,dunno y,i felt tis strange feelin in my heart and it hurts..e first reaction i had was to put down e call on skype straight away..e next ting i knew was tears rollin off my cheeks..
hmm.i dunno y im lyk tat.but im upset..now hes controlled my emotions and everythin.i nv knew i was tis weak in a relationship..well,he did call and apologise.but apologisin comes so often tat i no longer noe if he ever meant it anymore.but,oh well,i cant do anythin but type it here for myself to read ltr on...i feel so much beta now aft typin tis,but it all comes back when im on e fone wif him.i dunno wad to say..just pretend nth happen...
jr precious moments at 7:48 AM
